For 6mths I’ve eaten what I want to eatFor 6mths I’ve eaten regular meals and snacksFor 6mths I’ve allowed my body to gain weight without punishing it with restrictionsFor 6mths I’ve completed moderate workouts in the morningFor 6mths I’ve consciously challenged my black and white, all or nothing, good or bad thinkingFor 6mths I’ve felt my feelings even when they were horrible and upsettingFor 6mths I’ve turned to self compassion when I didn’t feel like I deserved itFor 6mths I’ve reminded myself that my weight and body do not determine my worth
For 6mths I’ve wondered what it would feel like getting to binge and restriction free.
On Saturday 1st May 2021, I celebrated six months binge and restriction free!
It was a wonderful feeling to know that I’m free from something that I’ve battled with for most of my life. At six months, I felt like I’d made it to the end of a chapter in my recovery and felt a spark for the next.
I wanted to celebrate and note my achievement, but I also wanted my success to speak to the hearts of anyone who is still struggling with bingeing and this eating disorder.
Here I’ve summarised what I wanted to speak:
Recovery is Possible
You are not alone
Having an eating disorder is not a reflection of who you are
Binge Eating Disorder is not the same as emotional / over eating
I’m committed to facing the ‘silent killer’ because black people suffer with eating disorders too
Give yourself time and patience
Recovery from Binge Eating Disorder and recovery from your past trauma are two different things
I’ve recovered from Binge Eating Disorder
A huge part of continuing my recovery journey, is letting go of BED and owning the reality that I am recovered from the eating disorder. Now I’m focused on breathing new life in to the visions I cast aside and sabotaged because I didn’t feel worthy of fulfilling them.
Welcome to the next chapter of The Fat.Ugly Blog.
Here we go!