My name’s Anny and I’m just over here creating a space where Binge Eating Disorder (BED) can be spoken about without fear, judgment or shame.
I was diagnosed with BED in February 2020 at the age of thirty-seven and had treatment with the Outpatient Eating Disorders Service at South London and Maudsley Hospital. I’ve been navigating this recovery journey since November 2020 and started The Fat.Ugly Blog at the end of 2020 to keep myself accountable; I wanted to make sure I set aside time to regularly reflect on my recovery and how I was feeling.
I also had a burning desire to use my experience to make a difference for others.
I’ve had the opportunity to work with Healthy London Partnership, the Mental Health Transformation Programme and South London and Maudsley Hospital, using my lived experience to help shape and improve mental health and eating disorder services in London and education for medical professionals. I worked with University College London and Kings College London on a research project and have also contributed to a Routledge Basics book about Eating Disorders.
From there, I started taking my life back and making real changes.
In 2022, I stepped into the role of Cabin Crew with Virgin Atlantic, a job I’d dreamed of doing since I was eight years old. Yes, I felt fat and ugly, I was afraid every step of the way, but I used the tools I had learned and took one baby step at a time. I now fly around the world full time and love my job. When I’m not 39,000ft in the air, I’m investing time and energy in to projects that mean a lot to me, one of which, is this blog …
Wondering why I called it The Fat.Ugly Blog?
The short answer is that for most of my life, I used the words ‘Fat and Ugly’ to mask my real feelings and needs. It was easier to feel fat and ugly than feel the intense overwhelming emotions I didn’t believe I was equipped to manage. This blog and my recovery has meant understanding that BED is about more than weight, food and appearance – so whenever I hear the words ‘Fat and Ugly’ I’m reminded to stop and ask myself: “What are you really feeling, Anny?” It’s a gentle nudge that encourages me to courageously dig deeper, rather than numb my feelings and tap out, it’s a support in the recovery process, just like I hope this blog will be for you!
You’ll find the longer answer here
It was all going well, but I needed to take a break.
I gained weight during my recovery journey and I was struggling with that reality. As much as I wanted to keep going, in July 2023, I decided to take a break. I didn’t know how long it was going to be for, but I was feeling guilt and shame about wanting to lose weight, not loving the way I looked and feeling attacked by the idea that I needed to embrace ‘fatness’ as my identity – The anti-diet, body positivity, ‘Pro-Fat’ voices were overwhelming and I wanted to silence them, so I stepped away, stopped blogging and focused on my job and figuring out what I wanted the rest of my recovery story to be.
We’re now in 2025 and I’m in a very different place to where I was when I started in 2020, or where I found myself in 2023
I still refer to my recovery guide, I still have challenging days, I still want to help others navigate BED and enjoy the freedom of recovery and I’m still unhappy with my weight and how my body looks. However, my focus has shifted and this chapter of the Fat.Ugly story is called, “Fit2Fly”: Holistic Health, Mental Fitness and Radical Self-Care in my 40s, while Flying Long Haul as Cabin Crew. In essence, I’m learning how to live a recovered life that feels good for me.
An important part of this new chapter is breathing fresh life in to The Fat.Ugly Blog
I’m here to share what has helped me navigate this path through recovery. How I’ve found a type of freedom that isn’t about sticking to rules, striving for perfection or pretending every day is a great day, nor is it about relinquishing a new-found strength and power to another external movement, culture or community. It’s about having peace, rest and self-compassion when things don’t go the way I hope and being curious about what’s out there, creatively weaving those things that resonate, in to my own life in a way that feels right and peaceful. I hope you will feel inspired, encouraged and empowered to pause and write a recovery story that is your own and not simply what others have told you it should be.
I’m still committed to the vision I had for this blog.
I believe recovery is possible for everyone and by creating a safe space and united community, we can Raise Awareness, Inspire Hope and Support the Change we want to see. Imagine more people out in the world, free, living their dreams and enjoying life to the fullest. What a great picture that would be!
If that’s something you’d like to see too, or you’re looking for encouragement along your own recovery journey, pop your details in the box below to join the mission, community and stay updated. I’ll also send you a copy of the Binge Eating Disorder Recovery Guide – my top ten takeaways from the therapy programme I went through.
You can find me on Instagram and Facebook – look forward to meeting you there!
Much love xx
These are some of my specific areas of interest:
Weight loss and Binge Eating Disorder Recovery
Equality, Diversity and Inclusion in the Eating Disorder space
Dance and Body Image
Mental Health and Well-being in the workplace
Engaging in research