Keeping up with Recovery

There’s so much to say in what feels like such little time.

When I started this blog, my life was slower, quieter and it was easier to identify one or two key achievements and activities that demonstrated my resolve and commitment to recovery.

Now, it feels like my life has accelerated from 0 to 70mph and I’ve transitioned to reflecting on-the-go. In this post, as I’ve set aside some time to think about where I am, all that’s happened in the last couple of months and what recovery is looking and feeling like at the moment, I’m gonna take you on a whistle stop tour. So here goes:

I turned 40 and enjoyed a low key weekend celebrating with my Mum and a couple of friends in the Cayman Islands.

I got a start date for my Cabin Crew training followed by mountains of emails and paperwork to complete in preparation. Medical, Uniform fitting, online pre-course training, referencing, visas, vaccinations … it’s been a lot but I’ve taken one step at a time and almost there now – 9 days to go.

I’ve been speaking as a Lived Experience Practitioner; invited by SLaM (South London and Maudsley Trust) to join conversations on their Whole Team Training programme. I’ve discussed Assessment and just recorded another one with two wonderful Dietitians about Food, Nutrition and Culture – to be shown during the next training day.

I’ve joined a UCL research team as a Patient and Public Involvement Lead to work on a project reviewing and co-designing eating disorder resources – if you’re interested in joining a workshop (or four) and would like to have your say about the development of these resources, click here for more info.

I flew back to London from the Cayman Islands at the beginning of April. Just five months since leaving my job, I’m wowed by all I’ve done, personally and professionally, in such a short space of time. Leaving my job was without a doubt, the best decision I made.

If you were to ask me how I’m feeling now…

…I’d tell you that I feel like I’m being and doing exactly what I’m meant to be and do at this time. I wake up every morning with more hope than I used to have. The confusion and self doubt raises its head here and there and I experience moments when I fear that the emptiness will return, but hope is a powerful thing.

I continue to juggle a lot; balancing my creative ideas with the self-care that helps to maintain my mental health. I’ve made some changes and seeing my weight take a slow decline since the start of 2022 – I want to keep that going.

And yesterday I celebrated ten years since writing and publishing my first book – The Worst Book I’ll Ever Write.

Recovery continues to teach me new lessons and strengthens my mind in ways I am thankful for. I set my eyes on holistic health and mental fitness, both of which I’m still developing, but making significant progress that I’m very proud of.

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