I applied.
I submitted my online application. It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Just submit the application, Anny!
It would’ve been easier if I was 60lbs lighter, believed I stood a chance, or could ignore the tsunami of previous rejections flooding my mind.
I didn’t believe I was going to be chosen
They didn’t want me before, so what made this time any different? It was worse – I was older, fatter and uglier! Why waste time updating my CV and writing a cover letter, to be slapped in the face by another big fat NO?!
I did it anyway
I didn’t spend hours on the application. I knew I could do the job; I had the skills, experience and ability they were looking for, and the list of bullet points proved it. If I was to put in to words how I felt as I wrote that cover letter, it would go something like this:
“Look, this is my experience and what I bring to the table. I know I’m old (it’s not my fault you rejected me at 19!), but this is what I’ve always wanted to do and I’m giving it one more go. I don’t have the time or mental energy to waste on writing another CV and cover letter (I thought I’d put CVs behind me when I left my job three months ago to start my own company, but I guess flying is the only thing that keeps me coming back for more!).
So, I’m just gonna list these things here and if it whets your appetite you can invite me to the next stage to find out more. Not expecting to get the reply I want, but I’m a glutton for punishment so here I am! Thanks anyway!”
Dreams don’t come true for everyone
When you get tired enough, the first step is often the realest step you’ll ever take. When the rose-coloured glasses of hope, joy and excitement are replaced with unbelief, nonchalance and honesty, your drive changes and the emotional attachment to the outcome fades.
You understand that a CV can’t contain all of you, a job (even if it’s been a dream) doesn’t define you, and with your imperfections, you’re still enough. You’re no longer desperate and you know you’ll be okay whatever the response – you’ve survived before.
That’s where I was. I’d let go of my dreams; seeing the 747 go out of service during COVID had crushed my vision of being a 747 Captain for Virgin Atlantic; the ending of a relationship I believed would lead to marriage and children of my own, dashed my hope of ever being a mother; witnessing my Gran take her last breath, left a dark cloud hovering over my head. And it was being rejected for a cabin crew job that had been the catalyst for my wandering in the wilderness for ten years, so that felt like a buried dream too.
I’d accepted that while dreams can come true for some, they don’t come true for everyone and I was one of the unlucky ones.
I’ll admit it – I was wrong
I’ve been flying as Cabin Crew for three and half years. The emptiness and hopelessness I’d been feeling, has been filled with light. I was inspired to believe again.
I often ask myself: What if I hadn’t applied? What if I’d allowed my past experiences to stand in the way of me and the starting line? What if I’d written myself out of my cabin crew story when I was destined to be the main character all along?
It only took a first step
It was that honest, imperfect, unattached first step that opened the door to the job I’d dreamed of doing for thirty-one years.
I was a year in to my recovery journey and afraid, but willing to trust the process. I didn’t have the guts to take a massive leap, but that first baby step? It was uncomfortable, but manageable.
Doing something fat and ugly means stretching yourself slightly; doing something that feels uncomfortable, but not unsafe. Only you can decide what that is, but I can encourage you to choose your first step and go for it.
That first step changed my life – not just because of the job, but because of the string of experiences that followed. I didn’t just embark on a path to a new job; I stepped in to a process, experience and lifestyle that has become the learning and stretching I needed to finally be free from binge eating, and birth a new vision for my life.
A first step can change your life too
You don’t have to take a step today, but what baby step will walk you closer to a change you’ve been longing for? Explore your thoughts, feelings and limiting beliefs about that change and the first step towards it. Sit with it; no expectations of having to do anything about it right now, but give it space and awareness.
Recovery was key
Living in a larger body almost cost me a life changing career. It took courage to submit that application, but my recovery journey and the learnings I share in my recovery guide, were without a doubt, the key to taking that first step and committing through the process. Pop your email in the box below and I’ll send you a FREE copy of The Recovery Guide, this may just be your first step!
You can change your life. All it takes is a baby step. So step in to your story.
Love and Hugs,
Anny x