“Christmas can be a challenging time”
But why? Let’s get specific, real and honest.
Christmas can be a challenging time:
…because we have to be around people we don’t like, who often don’t like us, pretending that everything is okay.
…because we feel insecure in our bodies and our eating habits, and we feel judged by everyone.
…because there’s so much temptation – food we secretly love the taste of but have been told is “bad” – so we end up in a mental battle that no one else sees.
…because we have to be the person everyone knows, loves, and is familiar with, rather than who we’ve become over the last twelve months
…because we’re expected to keep the peace and not rock the apple cart, for the sake of a “lovely Christmas”, rather than express who we really are.
The truth is, in a dysfunctional environment, or even one that simply doesn’t feel safe for us individually, Christmas can feel like a performance. A restraint of who we really are, when all we truly want is to be free.
Maybe I’m the only one who’s ever felt this way, but I’d take a wild guess and say I’m not.
How do we manage and move forward with this understanding?
We acknowledge that we get to choose. We get to decide what we want, what is best for us at any given Christmas. This year it may be worth the pretence, next year we may opt out completely, the year after that we may feel more confident to show up fully as ourselves (and be potentially surprised by how welcomed that is!).
Whatever choice is made, I’m learning that I get to make it and that’s okay. Christmas may be a challenging time, but there’s nothing bad about a challenge. I just get to choose which challenge I’m willing to face.
Takeaway: Christmas can be a battle between being myself and being a performer. But the beauty is not deciding what’s right, it’s understanding that I get to choose whatever I want to do and that is freedom.